This week, I’m continuing to write about the ideas from the Mel Robbins podcast with Adam Grant that I keep coming back to. When something inspires me, I often revisit it…replaying a podcast, listening to music, or rereading a passage from a book or article. That’s how I make space to reflect and let an idea stay with me. Usually, over time, that idea becomes part of who I am.

Last week, I wrote about Adam Grant’s framework for understanding relationships: allies share our goals, pals share our interests, and companions share our values. The idea helped me think about the different ways people contribute to our lives and how we can appreciate a relationship for what it is instead of expecting it to be everything.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about another part of Grant’s conversation with Mel Robbins: the connections we can renew, the ones we can strengthen, and the small ways we can show people they’re on our minds.

Connection is something we make room for.

Reconnecting, and showing up

This week, I went to dinner with my childhood best friend to celebrate her job promotion. We don’t see each other as often as we’d like. Proximity to one another is not in our favor, we both have all encompassing jobs, she travels, and our kids are at different stages. But we stay connected through memes, texts, and videos, and we’re always cheering each other on. She’s sent me pictures I’ve opened during meetings and literally laughed out loud at. Who doesn’t need a laugh in the middle of a serious meeting?

That evening, we shared stories and celebrated a new chapter in her life. This time, I didn’t talk as much as I usually would and listened to her tell me things she needs to get off her chest. And I was 100 percent good with it. In fact, I love that she trusts me with what is resting on her heart. I was reminded that a meaningful friendship doesn’t have to follow a perfect schedule. We can pick up where we left off and make room for one another in the lives we have now.

When Grant speaks about “dormant ties,” he is referring to relationships that have become less active as life changes. He reminds listeners, “It is never too late to reach out to somebody that you lost contact with and get back in touch.”

For those of you who read last week’s post, I think you know that I love that idea. Sometimes reconnecting doesn’t require a grand gesture. It can begin with a dinner, a phone call, or a small message that says, I thought of you.

Grant describes that kind of small gesture as “pebbling”: sharing something because it made you think of someone. A podcast, an article, a book, a photo, a meme. It’s a simple way to let someone know they crossed your mind.

Connection is something we make room for, sometimes in the smallest ways.

Sharing what we learn

Last week, there were two moments at a conference that caught me by surprise.

First, a colleague I’ve known for years and hadn’t seen in some time told me he had read my recent Edutopia article and really loved it. I was surprised, not because I don’t value his kind words, but because recognition isn’t why I share my learning. I write about what I’m learning and how I’m growing because I hope it might help someone else.

Then, in the same space, someone from another district approached me to learn more about a pilot process I lead in my district. She told me she had already visited our website to see the work we had done. That surprised me, too.

We had shared so much about the process on our website for our own community. I hadn’t fully considered that other communities might be visiting, learning from what we shared, and adapting ideas for their own work. I began to see that the work we share travels further than we know.

This makes me think about my friend George Couros and the way he has shared his ideas and learning over the years. Not only have I learned from him, but he has challenged me. His work has made me better, has helped me reflect, take action, and keep growing. In his recent Saturday newsletter, George wrote about reaching out, asking people what they need, and making space to lift others. One line stayed with me: “Ask people what they need, before you tell them what they should have.”

That feels connected to the way I want to continue to share my work. I don’t want to assume that what helped me will be exactly what someone else needs. But when we share honestly, it gives others the chance to take an idea, adapt it, or simply feel less alone in their own learning.

Connection is something we make room for when we share what we’re learning, even if we don’t know who might find it useful.

Standing beside someone

This week, I also supported a new administrator as she moved through the observation process. I stayed by her side and kept asking myself: What would I have needed if I were new to this again?

I’ve learned a lot through observations, and I write about that learning, too. I know how much it can help to have someone offer context, answer questions, and stay present through a process that can feel unfamiliar. I wanted to offer the kind of support I would have been grateful to receive.

That experience brought George’s words to mind. Asking what someone needs can start with listening, noticing, and remembering what it felt like to be new. Sometimes support means sharing a resource. Sometimes it means thinking something through together. And sometimes it simply means staying beside someone as they find their way.

For me, that is part of leadership: creating the conditions for people to feel supported as they learn and grow. The relationships we build at work may look different from our closest friendships, but they matter. A colleague can be an ally in the work, a thought partner, a mentor, or someone who helps us see a possibility we hadn’t considered.

We don’t need every connection to look the same to value it.

Making room

Grant’s conversation and George’s newsletter have me thinking about connection as something we nurture through our choices. We can reach back toward people we’ve missed. We can share an idea that might help someone. We can ask what support would be useful. We can celebrate another person’s success and make room for their growth.

And we can be thoughtful about where we invest our energy. Not every relationship will take the same shape, and not every connection will be equally close. That doesn’t diminish the value of what each one brings.

I keep returning to the dinner with my friend, the words from my colleague, the conversation with an educator from another district, and the time spent supporting a new administrator. Four different moments. Four different relationships. Each reminded me that connection can show up in many forms: in shared history, in encouragement, in learning across communities, and in the steady presence of someone willing to help.

The work we share may reach people we didn’t expect. The support we offer may matter more than we realize. And the relationships in our lives may grow in ways we couldn’t have planned.

Connection is something we make room for.

Sometimes that means pulling up a chair to celebrate a friend. Sometimes it means sharing what we’ve learned, without knowing who might need it. And sometimes it means standing beside someone and remembering what we would have needed in their place.

We can be grateful for the people who have made room for us, including those whose words and work have helped us grow. I hope we can keep making room for one another.