Living in Stories

Living in Stories

Stories are windows into the soul. They are hidden treasures that are buried beneath a sea of hopes, wishes, dreams. They are small moments in time that pass you by. They are memories that enrapture your heart and wrap around your spirit. They are the hidden paths to who you were, who you are, and what you are destined to become. You are a collection of invisible stories strung together and concealed by your external being. Stories bind us to people. They are entry points to connection and open pathways to your learning journey. They shape your core identity; they are a reflection of your perception, values and what you stand for. Stories are windows into our experiences. They are the ammunition that pushes you down the path to self-discovery. Your stories are living in mind memory boxes waiting to be courageously unwrapped and gifted to people who will use them to discover ideas and recognize their own passions.

As I have navigated over four decades of living including seventeen years in education I have lived the stories that have propelled me to be the leader I am becoming. I was born into a family of educators. My grandfather, my parents, my sister, and I all have stories to tell. Although each story is unique and special, mine is a little different as I am the first person in my family to have stepped into a formal leadership role. Along with my family, there have been people who have paved a path to my development and growth as a human being, educator, and leader. Some walked into my life for minutes, some for hours, some for days, and some for years. Some are more present than others, some have come and go, while others have remained by my side. Those people have likely seen me through the big and small wins, helped me navigate the obstacles I have faced, and have valued me for the person I am, not for the title I have served in. All of these people are important because they have shown me who I want and don’t want to be. For that, I am truly grateful. 

Stories Are Fuel

In an #InnovatorsMindset podcast, George Couros brilliantly says “Stories are the fuel for innovation, they inspire us, they give us pertinent ideas, they get the work we are doing out to people in a really compelling way that goes beyond what a score could tell people about our students.” Beneath the facade of every human being lies personal, unique collections of stories that reveal reflections of who they are and who they want to be. Where are you creating spaces for educators to share how they found their path to education and leadership through stories?

We all have a story that captures how we journeyed to the path to leadership. Recently, I was asked to join a group of women to speak about my story that led me to leadership at an educational event. As I stood in the center of a wall to wall crowded room of influential women, my eyes scanned and surveyed it. As upbeat music played to greet the participants who chose to share the learning space with my colleagues and me, my mind wandered into a state of reflection. How did I get here? Who helped me see my potential and why didn’t others? Have I become a person of influence? Am I supposed to be here? One by one, ten women I admire and adore shared their stories with others, their path to leadership through vulnerability and grace. I noticed that they all had something in common. They gave recognition to others for the person they are continually becoming. That’s because leadership is not a business of “I”, it’s a business of “we”. When it was my turn to speak, I shared, “Getting to the place I am now did not come easily. It took some pretty amazing people to recognize my strengths and pick me up during the times when I had fallen down. There have been many remarkable moments in my career, but there have also been some disappointments. You see, we need those moments too. They support your personal evolution, your path to transformation. They help you see that happiness doesn’t just exist in where we are, it lives in what we have to do to get there.” So I ask, Where are you now and where do you want to be? In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, he says, ‘Your life bends in the direction of your habits. Every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become.’ When I reflect on my past and present experiences, I often ask myself, “Who is the leader you wish to become Lauren?” My answer is “I wish to become the leader I always needed.” No matter where your journey takes you, your actions create a collection of stories that can positively impact others. 

Moving Forward
Stories are lenses that formulate perspectives and cultivate community. They are sound bites, and short episodes of our lives. They are opportunities to personalize classroom experiences, make connections to new learning, and a bridge that connects us with people to form new ideas. In chapter 3 of the book Personal and Authentic, Thomas C. Murray passionately wrote, “Weaving together our experiences creates our story, makes us who we are, and determines the context in which we each learn.” Understanding and sharing our own stories and the stories within our school organizations forges deeper connections that lead to deeper learning. Understanding stories values the uniqueness of each individual and brings purpose to authentic work. As we proceed with our lives, we will encounter new opportunities and people who are waiting to meet us. It can be exciting to think about a team of people we have not yet met, but will eventually become a constant in our lives. Although every person has guided my direction, I have realized that we all have the divine power to choose our own paths, our ultimate destination. We can take our experiences, our stories, our lessons learned to bring our hopes and dreams to fruition. What will you do to intentionally shape the narratives you want to create and write the stories you want to be a part of?

Leaders Can Live in the Mess of Learning

The heartbeat of education lives inside the walls of schools. Within those walls you can find stories of kids and teachers in the mess of learning. You will watch students, teachers, and staff buzzing about the halls and classrooms igniting discussion, cultivating curiosity, instilling joy, leading with empathetic hearts and smiling through it all. The epicenter of those learning spaces will captivate and inspire you to listen more intently. You will see new things and look through lenses you may have not considered before. You don’t have to search for the big things to see good things happen. The small things matter too.

I often reminisce about my days in the classroom. When I became an educator, I wanted to show my students what they were capable of. I wanted to help them find their voices. I wanted to provide a sense of hope that would continuously stir within. Inside my classroom walls, you could find stories and moments of impact that shaped the educator I am today. Those stories turned into sound bites, short episodes of lessons I’d later learn from. They were opportunities to personalize learning experiences and were a bridge that connected me to people. In those walls, I learned to embrace my own gifts so I could help my students find theirs.

A few weeks ago I stood by the fence over looking the football field at my hometown’s homecoming game. As I gazed onto the field, I thought about how just a couple of years ago, I was teaching in the middle school walls that were just a few feet away. Within those walls, I learned a lot of new things. But most of all, I learned patience, flexibility, and perseverance during a year of uncertainty. Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by two familiar voices. “Mrs. Kaufman, Mrs. Kaufman, is that you?” one boy yelled trying to catch his breath. I quickly turned around. Although I was startled by the unexpected encounter, I could feel my face smiling big. “Oh my goodness, Ben and Sebastian, here you are. It’s so good to see you! How have you been?” I replied as I saw them both smiling back at me. The other boy looking taller than ever responded. “Mrs. Kaufman we were in your reading class in 7th-grade. What happened to you last year? We were looking for you in 8th-grade when we needed to see a smile.” In that moment, my heart melted. Was it a small thing like a smile all it took to leave a legacy in their hearts? That was the year I left to embark on my leadership journey in another school district. This special interaction made me think about a sentiment shared in the book Because of A Teacher, Volume II. In the book, George Couros said, “What is amazing about education as a profession is that what you do impacts people who later go out and impact people. In this sense, teachers will never get the recognition they deserve because their impact can be infinite.”

Now that I am a district administrator, the opportunities to have an infinite impact and influence on students can become more limited (if I let it). So I regularly ask myself, How can I find ways to continuously expand my impact and broaden my influence as an instructional leader? What helps me process this question is that I have come to understand that impact and influence lives in every level of an organization. It’s the people in systems that have the potential to do amazing things.

As I continue on my journey and evolve into the instructional leader I wish to become, I have committed to the following ideas to help expand my impact and broaden my influence within the walls of schools:

  1. Be Human-Centered – Connections are cornerstones to our hearts. Recognize that educators are people first and learn what they care about outside the walls of education.
  2. Lead with Empathy – Meet people where they are in conversations. Guide and support their journey by being less reactive and more responsive to their needs.
  3. Provide Thoughtful Feedback – Use a coaching lens and ask questions that will lead people to finding their own answers to challenges. Then give feedback that will elevate their ideas “It sounds like you…” and “I am wondering if…” HERE are some coaching stems to help guide conversations.
  4. Recognize the Gifts in Others – Listen to people attentively. You will discover their strengths and areas of expertise. Develop those gifts and capitalize on their knowledge to cross-pollinate ideas across an organization.
  5. Keep Kids at the Heart of Decision-Making- When you keep the conversations focused on what is best for kids’ social, emotional, and intellectual growth, your impact and influence will touch the lives of many students even though you may not directly work with them. 

So, if you are like me and are continuing on your leadership path, consider embracing the ideas above and opening the doors to schools and classrooms. You will find so much goodness living inside the walls. Although you do not have a classroom to call your own, you can still find ways to step into the mess of learning. When you miss the moments of impact you experienced with your own students, take a leap of faith and open a classroom door. Recently, I walked through one and was greeted by a teacher with the warmest, most genuine smile. “Look at that smile,” I said. The teacher replied “Well, it matches yours, Lauren.” Once again, I was reminded that the small things matter. You have influence, your impact is infinite and your smile and the hope you instill will live on.

Because of a Teacher

School Memories

From the moment you enter school, you are faced with experiences that will impact the trajectory of your life. These memories shape your identity and help you reflect on decisions you choose to make. When those doors open, every interaction big and small has the potential to become a story. These are the stories that live in your heart and mind and will ultimately be passed down from one generation to the next. These stories are the legacies educators leave behind as they have the greatest gift, the gift of creating meaningful moments that set their students on a path to self-discovery. These moments can unlock your potential and leave footprints in the hearts of those you serve. Can you visualize and feel the moments I am talking about? Can you remember a special educator who influenced your world and altered the course of your journey? Do you have a compelling urge to pass down that goodness by recreating those pivotal experiences that live and thrive within?

I have…

Because of a Teacher

Because of a teacher, I live my life by leading with empathy and kindness.

Because of a teacher, I understand the value of connection and cultivating strong relationships with the people who cross my path.

Because of a teacher, I can be vulnerable. I can name and feel my emotions and navigate them with intention and purpose. 

Because of a teacher, I am not afraid to capitalize on my curiosity, pursue my passions, and embrace the learning process.

Because of a teacher, I know that I will meet more teachers over the course of my life that will recognize and help me share my gifts, so I can bring out the best gifts in others.

The Universe Speaks

Two years ago, the universe connected me with George Couros, learner, speaker, author, and innovative leader in the education field. He encouraged me to write. He encouraged me to share my learning through blogging. He has always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. As a result, he has become a great mentor, friend, and teacher.

When George asked me to contribute to his new book #BecauseOfATeacher among other leaders in education, educators whom I respect, admire, and adore, I was deeply grateful for the opportunity. As I had gotten to know many of the authors who contributed to this book, I knew that the stories were going to be unique and special. These are the kinds of stories that tug on your heart strings and evoke layers of emotion. This is the kind of book that will remain a constant on nightstands, coffee tables and bookshelves and will truly stand the test of time. And now that the book has come to fruition, it is evident that this compilation of stories will surely make you laugh, cry, and feel ALL of the feels. They will remind EVERY educator, new, veteran, and everyone in between why they got into this beautiful profession!

My Greatest Hope

My greatest hope is that this cherished book will be the epicenter of book studies around the world, reflecting on your personal stories, educational journeys, and the impact and influence you can have on learners. My greatest hope is that it will make it’s way into your hands, the hands of every educator as well as educators you’d like to thank. Maybe it’s because that educator was a constant source of happiness and inspiration in your life. Maybe it’s because that educator gave you a smile when you needed it the most. Maybe it’s because that educator unleashed the greatness they saw inside of you. Maybe it’s because that educator believed in you when you felt like no one else did. Let this book be a reminder that #BecauseOfATeacher, you are better.

We can’t wait to hear what you think! After reading each story, post a quote, a thought, and/or idea. Tag the authors and use the hashtag #BecauseOfATeacher! We can’t wait to read what you share!

Contributing Authors:

Dr. Jody Carrington
Steve Bollar
Deidre Roemer
Dr. Mary Hemphill
Tom Murray
Dr. Katie Novak
Amber Teamann
Dwight Carter
Dr. Katie Martin
Lainie Rowell
Stephanie Rothstein
Livia Chan
Evan Whitehead
Lauren Kaufman
Meghan Lawson