Have you ever felt like you were holding yourself back, dimming your light just to fit in or play it safe? In her book Worthy, Jamie Kern Lima shares, “I believe one of the most prevalent forms of cancel culture is one that no one talks about. It’s us canceling ourselves before we even try” (p.6). This can show up in many ways for different people. We can tell ourselves stories that aren’t really true, hold back from living fully or reaching for our highest potential, and sometimes trade meaningful connection for the temporary comfort of validation. But here’s the truth: you are worthy simply because you exist.

Through writing this blog and my book The Leader Inside, I’ve reflected on so many moments when others saw something in me before I saw it in myself. As a high school sophomore, my guidance counselor, Mrs. Millman asked me to choreograph the Battle of the Classes dance competition, a major school event. “Me?” I remember stammering, my face turning red with self-doubt. She smiled and said, “You can rally people together in a humble way. You’re a leader.” That simple moment, her belief in me, changed how I saw myself.

Years later, as a teacher, a colleague encouraged me to apply for an instructional coaching role. “You’re already wearing a coaching hat,” she said. “You should go for it. You’re a leader.” I didn’t feel ready, but I tried anyway. And when I faced some rejection in my first attempts to move into formal leadership, I can still hear the wise words of my fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Roth, who later became a central office administrator, my mentor, and contributor in my book reminding me: “This rejection, this disappointment pressing on your heart, is a fleeting moment in time. It’s a door to a new beginning.”

I’ve also seen educators share ideas that were initially turned down by colleagues, only to have those same ideas embraced by others later. I have seen educators become fearful of inviting colleagues and administrators into their classrooms to highlight impactful instructional practices they’re employing. Make no mistake about it. I get it. I’ve lived in similar feelings that can be extremely overwhelming and intimidating. But once given the reassurance that we are there to learn together, they find the courage to take action and develop the confidence to rise to the occasion. Those are the moments that turn on their light and reignite their belief in themselves.

These moments, and the people behind them, taught me what Mel Robbins so perfectly captures in one of her podcast episodes about building confidence in yourself: “Courage comes first, and confidence builds over time.” Confidence doesn’t come from waiting until you feel ready, it comes from taking action. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when you feel unsure. Jamie Kern Lima reminds us, “Even our setbacks are almost always set-ups for the path we’re destined to take” (p. 7). And as George Couros reminds us HERE in one of his latest Saturday emails, “Be the reason someone has the irrational confidence to do something great.”

So I ask, as educators and leaders, how will you help your students, colleagues, and even yourself turn up your light? 

How will you inspire others to have the courage to believe in their own potential and take actionable steps that lead them to their purpose?

And one more question for you…So, what if today you decided to turn down the volume on your doubting mind and turn up your light? 

Trust the voice that says, “Take the step.” Lean into the moments when others believe in you. Let them show you the leader inside.

The world doesn’t need perfection. It needs you, growing and stepping into who you are destined to be. 

You’re a leader. Take the step. You have the courage to take action.

Turn up your light.

3 Actionable Ideas to Implement Tomorrow

1. Recognize and Affirm Strengths: Take a moment to tell a student, colleague, or team member something specific you see in them, a strength, skill, or potential they may not recognize in themselves. A few words of encouragement can ignite confidence and inspire action.
2. Create a Safe Space for Ideas: Invite your team or students to share their ideas, even if they’re not fully developed. Show that their contributions are valued, and encourage collaboration to refine and implement those ideas. This can turn hesitation into empowerment.
3. Model Vulnerability and Action: Share a personal story of when you stepped into a challenge despite self-doubt, and how it helped you grow. Then, invite others to take one small, courageous step toward a goal or role they’ve been hesitant to pursue. Lead by example to inspire bravery in others.