“The way we attend to others determines the kind of person we become.” – David Brooks

As I embark on my 19th year in education and my 4th year in a formal leadership role, I remain deeply committed to remembering what it was like to be a teacher. I believe that understanding and responding to the needs of others is essential for moving our work forward collectively.

Though there are many moments I miss having a classroom of students to call my own, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of stepping outside my own walls to observe the impactful instructional practices of other teachers. It was during my time as an instructional coach, I learned that cross pollinating these ideas can significantly benefit student learning and now as a district leader I have carried that idea with me.

I have also learned the art and significance of effective communication. I believe it’s an opportunity to understand the needs of the educators, colleagues, and the community you serve. This mindset can create conditions where people can lead with hope, leave fear behind, recognize their potential, and empower themselves and others. It’s an opportunity to show others you care about their work. 

Believe me, there were times I had fallen short in this area and there are times today I catch myself needing to be better. Can you relate? Do you find yourself learning from others the type of communicator you want and don’t want to be? 

Communicating effectively can build a bridge from your current position to your desired destination. As you journey across this bridge, questions act as essential signposts, guiding you towards your goals. You may be thinking that there are times when you communicate with limited reciprocity. You may consider using those experiences to change your communication style and advocate for yourself in different ways, ensuring your message is heard and understood.

Since I embrace leading with a coaching mindset (you can read more about that HERE), I strive to embrace Jim Knight’s ideas of Leading Ourselves and Leading Others. According to Knight:

Leading Ourselves means knowing our purpose and principles, using our time effectively, taking care of ourselves, and developing habits that enable us to do these things.

Leading Others involves making good decisions, interacting in ways that expand capacities, fostering deep knowledge and implementation, and creating alignment with others.

In my book, The Leader Inside: Stories of Mentorship to Inspire the Leader Within, I share this sentiment: “Great leaders help others find their gifts and ignite a sense of passion and purpose. They give just the right amount of push, believe in your potential, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.” In line with this sentiment, David Brooks, in his best-selling book How to Know a Person, reflects this by saying, “I often ask people to tell me about times they felt seen, and with glowing eyes, they tell me stories about pivotal moments in their life. They talk about a time when someone perceived some talent in them that they themselves weren’t even able to see.”

One way I strive to achieve this is by leveraging great questioning, a skill I continually seek to strengthen.

Why Should Leaders Invest in Questioning?

Great questions are powerful intellectual tools that enhance your understanding of people, helping to collectively move your work forward. Demonstrating active curiosity about someone’s thoughts and perspectives shows generosity and improves how you can support them. 

As Jim Knight notes in The Definitive Guide to Instructional Coaching, “Questions are to coaches what ice skating is to hockey players: if you want to play the game, you have to learn the skill.” Questions enhance clarity, boost energy, and empower individuals, placing them in control of their learning. A great question can advance a conversation and open the door to deep thinking, learning, reflection, and growth.

Types of Questions to Ask (Some of the examples are from The Definitive Guide to Instructional Coaching):

Open-ended questions: These questions encourage expansive thinking and dialogue, allowing the respondent to elaborate and provide detailed responses. They can bring to light new ideas, insights, emotions, problem finding and solving. Jim Knight recommends using act, feel, think questions to ignite rich and meaningful dialogue.

Examples:

• Act: What is one step you can take to move closer to your goal?
• Feel: How did you feel when your students reached their goal?
• Think: What surprised you this week?

Reflective questions: These questions prompt introspection and personal insight, helping individuals to think deeply about their experiences and learnings. These questions are designed to promote self-awareness, critical thinking, and continuous improvement.

Examples: 

• Can you describe a moment when you felt most successful in your teaching this week?
• What have you learned from this teaching experience that will inform your future practice?
• How does this experience align with your professional growth goals?
• How did you ensure that the lesson was student-centered?
• What steps did you take to encourage student autonomy and ownership of their learning?

Authentic questions: These questions show genuine interest and build deeper connections, fostering trust and understanding. In the book Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott has shared, “When someone really asks, we really answer.” And somehow both of us are validated” (p. 94). In these questions, there is no hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, or correcting. These are questions that promote storytelling and help people express their realities.

Examples: 

• What’s on your mind? – Michael Bungay Stanier 
• On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the worst lesson you’ve taught and 10 being the best, how would you rank that lesson? – Steve Barkley 
• Why did you give it that number? – John campbell Why didn’t you give it a lower number? 
• What pleased you? 
• And what else?

For your instructional toolbox:

HERE are more coaching questions from Jim Knight. 

HERE are more coaching questions from Elena Aguilar.

In a future post, I will share some insights on the art of listening, as it is an essential component of asking great questions. This skill helps build a bridge from the present to the future, facilitating meaningful connections and progress.

Moving Forward

Investing in the art of great questioning can enrich your interactions and foster a culture of continuous improvement, mutual respect and rapport.

Let’s continue to be deeply committed to remembering what it was like to be a teacher and work to understand and respond to the needs of others. Believe in your ability to actively listen and attend to others. Asking meaningful questions and communicating effectively will build bridges to the future and shape the leader you are still becoming. 

“The way we engage with others determines the kind of person we become.” – David Brooks